Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
