No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize