Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
