i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
