Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
