hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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