do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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