What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
