dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize