CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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