Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
