My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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