somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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