yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
