Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.

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(786): View more from Florida

I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

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(845): View more from New York

just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in

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(740): View more from Ohio

He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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(909): View more from California

Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there

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(518): View more from New York

Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices

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(386): View more from Florida

you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint

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