I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
