Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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