you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My legs feel like baby dolphins
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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