If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
