dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
