that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
