Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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