well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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