so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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