You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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