Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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