i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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