dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
