idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
