Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
send nudes
from the living room?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
