Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
