Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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