I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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