Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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