can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
