Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
