he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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