So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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