what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize
