mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
smell my finger.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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