I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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