So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
where are my eyebrows?
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