girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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