I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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