I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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