An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
