i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
