So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
