I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
