I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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