You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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