She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
