smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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