I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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