Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
