my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
