I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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