Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
