Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
