Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
