so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize