OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
