also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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