Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
please come you make the beer taste better
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
