Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
